straight from randomness

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straight from randomness

Postby llamedos » November 8th, 2006, 9:29 pm

i thought what the hell lets move mine and other peoples bizarre attempt at a story into the actual storyboard

so here it is combined with the weird bits as well



llamedos wrote:The lobster King married the Princess and everyone lived happily ever after, all that is except for the evil baron who was exiled to a small island just outside of the Bemuda triange.


smartchance21 wrote:while just inside the triangle a band of lunatics have joined together to form the greatest empire of pirates known to man


llamedos wrote:The evil baron being quite a nice bloke in reality very clever and caring has created an entire kingdom from the surrounding islands with himself as the main ruler. They specialise in trade and armaments, also being fairly intelligent he hired the mad pirates and welcomed them with open arms, and created a peacful open society with centres of learning and study where weapons are devised on average every three days whenever the the students aren't bumming around in bars or devising more ways to advance mathematics.

However in the realm of the lobster King there is abstract poverty with cruel lords exacting excessive taxes of there underlings and all to finance the growing addictions of the mad queen while the king sits around disguised in seedy bars gambling away what remains, they have two children. one of which bears a striking resemblance to a pig the other a striking resemeblance to the former stward who took control of the kingdom whenever the king was out in the countryside chasing milk maids and tavern girls. Many rumors speculate the numbers of bastards that remain.


NorkNork wrote:And then they all went out for some sushi.


smartchance21 wrote:and upon there return found that there entire kingdom had turned against them in a revolt funded by the evil baron who while being the all around good guy that he was could no longer stand the evil tyranny of his once beloved brother the lobster king


llamedos wrote:The queen who did not realise what had happened for several days as her high wore off and the withdrawel sypmtoms kicked, in eventually tried to kill her self by biting her wrists but fortunately was prevented as years of abuse had turned her teeth to blackened aching lumps of plaque and her skin too thick with fat for her to reach any veins, she needen't have worried too much the following day she was taken outside and executed by her former supplier who having lost his main customer wanted to protect his name and stop her revealing him to the mobs and using him as a scapegoat for her fall into degeneracy.
The lobster king however had somehow managed to chat up three of the palace servants when they brought him food and was quite happy as he passed away the time in his cell with them, and was quite oblivious to anything else for the time being.
The eldest son had lost a startling amount of weight in the short time of his captivity resembling an over weight pig only with the expression on his face.
The other son had disappeared no one knew quite where to (but every story of plot and intrigue needs something to fall back on for the sequel;)


smartchance21 wrote:and so this kingdom entered a time of peace unkown throughout its history that would last to the end of time or so they thought.
So it was with great surprise that the people gathered to hear the news that there beloved king was dead.Truly a shadow of this magnitude had not fallen over the people since the jailing of the lobster king and under such dark circumstances no one could have guessed that the shroud of darkness encircling the kingdom would grow blacker that very night


llamedos wrote:the death of the king was extremely surprising news to the evil baron when his master of information informed him a day later his island kingdom had continued to prosper with the building of more colleges and and trade links
when he retired to his chamber later that morning he reflected on the time eight years ago just after the great revolution when he had made his decision not to take over the old kingdom or combine it with his own but prefered to choose another one he felt more appropriate for the position
he had waited till after his brothers trial only stepping in when he felt it necessary to put aside the death sentence and instead order him to be vasectomized and given into his care. He had died happily of a heart attack last year while entertaining the owner of the local brothel in his private chambers. After the trial there had been no end of possible rulers many a rich baron wanted the title but in the end only one was chosen a middle aged man formerly an old friend of the evil baron from childhood he had grown distant over the years but the evil baron still ranked him as a far better ruler material than any others, so the reclusive librarian/lord of the costal town of morat aard had been catapulted to the peak of high society in his first few months he had wraught changes that at the time were much doubted but the people eventually came to believe in whole heartedly in this way he gainded the respect and trust of his people over his time he made more changes till eventually his kingdom was once again wealthy and the people happy and the people did rejoice at him and he was commonly becoming known as "Wayne the loved one"
The news of his death had shocked the evil baron severely, this previously happy kingdom would un less something was done again fall by the way side although technically an exile of the state he still had great fondness for his old home land it was while he was thinking happily back to his childhood that the Assasinsilently climbed through the window...


smartchance21 wrote:as the assassin calmly cleaned the blood from his blade he thought of how he had, in one calm motion, insured the chaos to come. the evil baron had been the last of the few who stood in his way and with his death the realization of his plans could truly begin. Although there were sons enough to ensure the continuation of the line the assassin knew as few others did that there was much disputing as to who was the true heir and that and that among the candidates was a body of true evil


llamedos wrote:The evil baron dies and with it all hope of peace for the two nations all that remain are those that seek to gain not for their own lands but for their selves (as the evil baron dies so does my last character, so untill I can find a way to niggle myself back i'm stuck out on the fringes heckling and complaining oh what the hell)

as the Assasin slips back out of the window he very narrowly avoids the parachuting hippo that lands a few feet away but the falling faeces lands on his head


smartchance21 wrote:as the hippo ambles along dragging an unwanted parachute that he can't seem to rid himself of a hole the size of a small rock opens before him as he leans down to further inspect this odd occurence it begins to expand very soon swallowing not only him but the entire country condemning everyone to painfull deaths upon impact (except perhaps those hippos happily equipped with parachutes) and any survivors await an uknown fate deep below davy jones locker.


llamedos wrote:unknown to anyone the fate of this main island is tied forever with the fate of the evil baron and with the death of the evil baron there is no longer any purpose for it to exist the expanding hole once it reaches the coast stops with no trace of the island remaining the other islands are fine but the main one dissappears and with it the person who unwittingly masterminded his own demise..................... or so you think somehow the assasin used hislightning fast reflexes to jump onto the large marine herbivore wearing an air safety device this saved his life barely. Three days later when he and the hippo wash up on the sandy shores of the old kingdom they have formed a dedicated pact together man and hippo forever linked by a vow of friendship....... which lasts 6 weeks as the long walk back to civilisation was empty of any food except for grass so he ate the hippo

:and as my character was you may have guessed the hippo I have once more written myself out of the story.


glorfindel wrote:In my next life i wanna be me again,,,,,,,................ well why not ? i now know which girls did which would,nt and not waste so much time....lolololo :oops:


llamedos wrote:you could but as you live it slightly differently you get crushed by a parachuting hippo


smartchance21 wrote:i gotta tell you that entire last paragraph was hilarious
seriously
im still laughing
bravo


llamedos wrote:Do you mean the bit about the hippo and the assasin?


Applewoodtree wrote:Sordid. Just... sordid.


smartchance21 wrote:
llamedos wrote:Do you mean the bit about the hippo and the assasin?


yep


llamedos wrote:Well that was a fun way to waist a couple of the small hours, I wonder if someone should make a game out of it, I know it would be mildly similar to one word story but it could be a one paragraph story at a time might be interesting. Oh and it's your turn to continue the story by the way.


smartchance21 wrote:being a nation of sailors the pirates were among the only remnants of a once great nation. They at first thought to return to there ways of murder and mayhem, rape and pillage, until they felt a pull, a pull that was felt keenly by each man down to the core of there being. It was with this pull that they realized they were not free that the oath they swore to the evil baron had not yet perished. That somehow even in death he was still calling them. This of course was very disconcerting to the pirates since they had seen the body of the Baron swallowed by the sea.Little did they know that as they turned there ships towards the invisable force that incessantly tugged at there hearts and minds that there destination would be determined, not by the location of the Evil Baron, but by a slim piece of still that had spilled his blood......and captured his soul. :shock:


Lars Gimletscousin wrote:"You don't think there's anything amiss? I'm sitting here wearing a red and white checked gingham dress and army boots and you think that's un-amiss?"


Slippery Jim D'Griz wrote:well its not my fault if he won't wash his socks!


Lars Gimletscousin wrote:a spoonfull of sugar helps the elephant go down


llamedos wrote:Fresh swamp water the ultimate cure for life. Drink large quanties:


glorfindel wrote:Treat each day as if it was your last
cos one day it will be :cry:


If a girls willin accept (see above) :wink:


Isil wrote:A few days ago we found out with my fellow workers that Alien is in fact buried in the graveyard where we're working. They've tried to be clever and written it Ali En (with the "family name" En at the top of the stone and Ali under it), but since we are all very clever girls we saw right through the trick.


Archaic Lobster wrote:That's strange, I could have sworn my post is arriving today. No matter, eggs are nice, notwithstanding the Norwegians.


llamedos wrote:The assasin after spending two months captured and held unwilling prisoner by amazon tribes women with a very bizarre shrine to some rough looking man with Wizzard written on a hat placed upon his head he eventually escapes after somehow persuading them that he was just going down the shops to pick up some screws for another shelf and a box of new fuses leaving a rather bemused puffin in his place (I can't explain why it's there perhaps cheery can?)

After running for severel hundred miles in a staggered run sort of pace over severel weeks he eventually makes it back to ............


The former king as has been pointed out already had been a good dedicated leader except in one point he had failed to produce an heir. The main reason being due too a lack of time the kingdom was a full time nightmare and matters of state if left to any of his 'willing' advisors would have been unlikely to have got anywhereso the dutifull king having formerly been a master of the library (capable of spotting an out of order book shelf at two miles) had found the time to organise a marriage and indeed carry it out he had however come to a problem for the queen being strrangely enough a cousin of the former queen was very shallow minded in fact so shallow that a saucer would probably posess a greater amount of social understanding and empathy this had shown a massive unwillingness of his queen to as she saw it condescend to his level to quote her letter to her former dorm mate emily "iy do mean really for all that he is the king iy would not debase myself to the level of a.. a librarian" she was later crushed to death during a previous season of parachuting hippos (odd how they keep turning up isn't it).

now back to the assasin... actually perhaps it might be better to clarify a couple of points first you may remember the second sun of the previous monarchy well he err umm yeah odd story that mumblemumblesetupafishandchipshopgotmariedandwashappycoughcough

now as i was saying the lighthouse keeper was very surprised to find... hold on hold on wait a second there my boy i thought you were going to talk about the assasini was before i was so rudely interupted. only me and a couple of the chaps in here were wondering if we could perhaps suggest a few things for the plot. like what exactly? oh i don't know perhaps a couple of deadly duels full of lots of blood and mild decapitation with added gore you know that sort of thing.. we've talked about this already and i distinctly remember talking you out of it now can i get back to the lighthouse keeper.. yes but we've been thinking what about if it was mice that were dueling that would surely be original enough . so you want to turn this work of rather bad collection of cliche madcapness into farce would you? yes well that was sort of the general consenses yes.. ok....fine...so these mice anything special about them? .. i'll check right chaps he's agreed to bring in the mice how far do you want to push him for the dress code all the way or just 6 ft tall with green and purple hair.. pardon green and pur..p..l......e hair yes lad of course green and purple hair right lads we get the mice but they only go as far as the green and purple hair (voice from the back ) how about the accordian playing one.. thats it i've had enough no accordian players can i just tell the damned story now was it really that important to ask me all that then couldn't you perhaps have waited
as i was saying before i was interupted the lighthouse keeper was verry surprised to find the the assasin leaning over side of his boat..


i think thats about it if you wish to continue it go right ahead if you wish to comment or complain about not being asked if it was ok to comment open a nother topic for the comments

LL
Dea...no...eternal damn...still no...marzipan to the infidels (far better we'll rot their teeth out and ruin them with dentist bills)
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." - Elanore Roosevelt
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Postby The_Bad_Man » November 8th, 2006, 11:10 pm

Who? What? Where? When? why?... i.e. when was this done?
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Postby llamedos » November 9th, 2006, 1:30 pm

14th of august to 22nd of september its just lifted out of the randomness is the answer
Dea...no...eternal damn...still no...marzipan to the infidels (far better we'll rot their teeth out and ruin them with dentist bills)
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Postby The_Bad_Man » November 9th, 2006, 7:37 pm

llamedos wrote:14th of august to 22nd of september its just lifted out of the randomness is the answer


Ahh, that explains my ignorance of these transactions.
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Postby llamedos » May 18th, 2007, 8:36 am

so anyone fancy continuing the story
Dea...no...eternal damn...still no...marzipan to the infidels (far better we'll rot their teeth out and ruin them with dentist bills)
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